Laying Raya!
“Lobbry, L-Leon Lobbry, ma’am. Ple-pleased to meet you.”
The young man’s voice rang out in a timid, broken squeak that spoke of a boy coming into manhood, but not quite that far along yet. He was a full six-feet in height, with raggy, brown hair and and vivid green eyes – carrying a build that seemed a bit malnourished, and a rather stiff posture. His thick bifocals rested lazily upon his nose, and the mage robes about his body did very little to hide his form.
“I..I just wanted to let you know, that the fee you incurred last year, for never returning Sam and the Golden Bone ha..has officially been waived, by my doing in the library archives. Being reborn is no reason for a canceled fee to be restarted.”
Pretty glowing eyes blinked from behind the pink-lensed glasses they illuminated as Raya Alleria lifted her gaze to the source of the voice. She was killer on this day as she stood against the tree, dressed in a tight, solid-white V-neck shirt, that had a lot more V than it did shirt, with a cut off stomach and too much chest support. The pink skirt around her waist did little to help her lose any physical dominance, slung low on the waist, and high on the thighs, frilly and swaying in the cool breeze of the Stormwind park.
Solid-white sandals with open toes and a few inches of platform wrapped about her feet, with long, clingy straps to just below the knees finished the compliment of the outfit – an outfit that a woman reading a book has probably never worn before, in public at least.
“I had a fee for that?” She asked as she held the large book against her stomach in both hands – opened in her palms. She had an obviously confused expression about her sunny-curl-curtained face.
“Y-yes ma’am, a hundred and fifty gold to be exact.”
Raya’s jaw dropped, she gasped, and she shook her head. “Waa-how?!”
Lobbry rubbed the back of his head and smiled shyly. “Well, when-when you returned from the dead, they considered you as alive again, and reinstated the fee, with lost time. I’m sorry, miss Alleria. Would you like to have dinner with me?”
A platinum brow arched, and Raya’s eyes opened wide. “So I see…” she responded, staring up at the young lad with hope in his eyes. “Did you seriously just try to use an insanely bogus library fee clearing as a white knight attempt to touch my breasts?”
Lobby blinked, and stammered, and then quickly glanced around, eyes white, and cheeks burning red as the realization that his so-thought foolproof plan had been fooled. “Y..yes mother, coming!” He suddenly yelped, and turned away, quickly scurrying off.
“Hello there, my name is Rayala Alleria, and last night – I got laid. As you can probably see already, selection was a difficult task in its own self. Here I am, a person present at the fall of the Lich King, a heroine of the Alliance, Argent Crusade, and Ebon Blade, a body to kill for, and all the personality in the world… And finding someone to love me for the night is just a ridiculous chore.
And if you think Librarian Lobbry was bad, take a look at the other attempts I had in the park yesterday evening, and decide for yourself! Oh yeah, leaving narrative mode now!”
“Oh, why hello there, gorgeous!” The broad-chinned man spoke, and pointed two fingers at Raya in a motion that suggested he was throwing an underhanded pitch of a softball. He was dressed in last season’s noble attire; high collars, tight legs, and stunningly bright purple… Wait a minute, bright purple has never been in style!
He winked a squinty eye, and a curl of over-greased hair fell before his eyes. “I had a -dream- about you last night.”
And he continued. Raya never had a chance to respond. This guy was obviously a used horse salesman looking for a trophy lay, or even worse, a wannabe used horse salesman looking for a trophy lay!
“We were stranded on a desert island, and there was no way we’d ever see civilization again. We had to… Repopulate.”
Raya blinked. “Why didn’t we hearthstone home?”
Caught off guard, the man stared at her a moment, before his instincts kicked in, and he found what he had believed to be a smooth response.
“Because I took my shirt off, baby, and you wanted to return the favor.”
Raya rolled her eyes and sighed. “Why don’t you hearthstone home now?”
Ouch. Poof.
Her eyes were closed as she washed the memory of that purple suit from her mind, unable to even giggle at the sadness of such a creation, or the mindset of the obvious psychotic who envisioned it.
“Lovely dreams, my lady?” A voice asked from before where she stood…
“Yes, actually, and guess what – you’re in them!”
“Am I?”
“Oh yes. You and I, we’re alone in the bedroom, hot, and sweaty – and I cry out… Just before the thing enters…”
The voice began to respond, but Raya cut him off. “It had eight octopus tentacle arms, and a human body, and I screamed as it grabbed you! And I said, hey, I’ve read these books before, but don’t you monsters usually go after the girl? And I most definitely don’t remember tentacle arms having giant penises on the end of them, you should get out of my erotic dream now… But you and it only made things more erotic.”
Raya’s eyes opened as she heard feet dragging away, and suddenly, her heart sank! Long, white hair, a slender, but well muscled body, and Silver Feather brand silks… She just told Sans DeLauren she had a tentacle dream about him… And he walked away. Daaaaaaaaaaaammit!
Win some, lose some, she guessed.
Raya sighed, and then slumped. What’s a gorgeous girl gotta do to get action in this park; give up and go to Goldshire?! She closed her book with a huff, sending a gust of air upwards that blew the curls from before her suddenly-widening eyes.
He was gorgeous…
His hair was waist-length and green, his eyes were large and pretty with their silvery hue. His body, covered in nothing but a foresty-green druid’s kilt, was the thing romance writers could take six pages to describe…
And he was walking right her way!
“Where were you last night?” His voice rumbled out the question in a purr of rugged sexuality. “Dreaming about you in my arms wasn’t enough.”
Raya giggled with glee, and wavered, her legs going weak at the knees as she felt the sensation of blood running to her head – a rare thing to feel post death for sure, and a feeling she welcomed. This was going to be -great-! She pushed off from the tree, straightened out her skirt, and as she began to step forward, arms spreading wide – she found herself face down in the grass, victim of a rather powerful shove from behind!
“I don’t think so, bitch!” A loud, squeaky, but unmistakably male voice rang out from behind her. By the time she had opened her eyes to assess what had just happened, she caught an eyeful of her dream elf, engaged in a rather steamy lip-lock with a flamboyantly-dressed draenic man!
Raya facepalmed. And as the two began to walk away, the draenei glanced back and gave her a poisonously-sweet smile. “Sorry, Goldilocks. Better get going before Boulderfist shows up.”
Raya blinked, still a bit bewildered by the shove, collected herself, and then worked to get back to her feet. Her shoulders were now slumped, and she looked a bit defeated. Maybe the Mirror had some good rates going tonight?
And then it happened…
There he was…
The man to end all competition…
“Yo, sugarpop!”
Raya blinked. “Me?”
“Ahh-yeah you!”
The answer came slurred and twangy as the Runeknight was approached. She couldn’t believe her eyes.
“Yo, check it – gonna serenade ya girl, den we can kick it at my ma’s crib. You down, I know you down! Just like you gonna go down… On me!”
Raya’s expression went from puzzled to confuzzled, and she stared in horror at the man, boy, person, thing before her, taking him all in. His robe was made of leather, his shirt a few sizes to small, and his leather armor somehow managed to stay up, despite being pulled down to the top of his thighs. Completely out of shape, and sporting a beard that climbed all the way down his neck – the young man drew in a deep breath through his mouth, and turned his plate helmet sideways on his head before beginning his serenading.
~Bitches and hoes, bitches and hoes
where my night take me, nobody knows!
Bitches and hoes, bitches and hoes
I shoot illegal drugs wit a lethal dose!~
Fortunately, that was all he got. Raya screamed, and bowled over the man as she fled from the park. The draenei was right – the CMs were wrong. Boulderfist was down! Screaming at the top of her lungs in anger, frustration, and fear, Raya fled all the way to the Cathedral district and into a random home!
“Narration return! Ok, so some luck I had there. But hey, it’s all well and good, because I learned an amazing lesson that day. I was out looking for the prospect of love amidst cheap thrills, when I had no idea that the best kind of love was waiting at home for me! Narration out!”
Once inside the home, she silenced, but quickly flew up the stairs and into a bedroom. In the bed slept a familiar young woman, dark skinned and auburn-haired. Raya sighed in relief, then she suddenly giggled, and leapt into the bed, wrapping her arms around the woman!
Varenna screamed and flailed, before she turned to see her would be attacker, and groaned.
“Raya!” She whined, the the curly blonde just clinged, smooched the paladin on the cheek, and cuddled close.
Varenna whimpered and squirmed, before hugging back as she would soon possibly slump back into unconsciousness. But not before setting things straight, however..
“You better not be wearing socks.”
“Aaand narration again! Ok, so maybe I didn’t get laid – or I did and am not admitting it, but I found that I really don’t have to! It’s friends and the love they can offer you that make you feel important in life. And last night… I was a queen.”
